I miss the feeling of genuinely laughing over something without nothing to worry about. It seems to me that I’m no longer having this feeling for quite sometime now. I just can’t fathom that I would always let a day pass by without smiling. I’m not just use to this.
Every day I try not to get nostalgic about things because I now it would make me sad, drown me with my thoughts, and would make me feel like I’m the only one having this feeling.
in a span of six months, I say this world is a wonderful world to live in but you have to adapt to it in certain ways. I try to adapt to it but every time I try, it makes me uncomfortable. It’s like I’m taking away myself from being me and just letting myself slip away in a matter of months, worst case scenario would be years.
Bandwagon mentality. Crab mentality. I try to always remind myself to keep my principles intact because I know the minute I immerse myself in the real world, I would see a lot of it there. People swim in that mentality which would make them lose their identity. People would always try to please each other but in my case I just don’t see myself pleasing each one of you. Truth to be told, you cannot really please everyone around you.
Having a piece of Makati is like getting a piece of a rainbow cake. It’s a mixture of different colors with varying flavors that makes up this uniquely wonderful cake.
You’ll see people of different races and cultures. People of different colors in different aspects. Some are kindhearted but some are greedy.
It’s a wonderful world out there, but you have to learn how to choose your own battles. Choose the right ones, and if you happen to fall into the not-so-right situations, keep your principles intact and fight for your freedom.
Immersing yourself in Makati is like being a tomato in a basket of full of tomatoes. I remember my teacher explaining the principle behind.
Imagine yourself as a freshly-picked tomato that will be put in a basket full of tomatoes.If you try to observe it at the bottom you’ll see rotten tomatoes, at the middle you’ll see tomatoes of different conditions some are okay, some are wounded and scarred, some are somewhere in between, and some are becoming rotten tomatoes decaying as the minute passes by. Then at the level of your eye, you’ll see freshly-picked tomatoes barely even scarred, with a hope they won’t get wounded eventually when they would get replaced by a new batch of freshly-picked tomatoes would .
We are like these tomatoes. We start fresh but when we get tired we become scarred, then worst case scenario we become rotten.
I don’t want to get to the point that I’d be eaten up by the system of this world. People live from pay check to pay check. That’s reality. Every day you would see a bunch of people stuck in the system of living their day to day lives with having to work 8 hours a day or even more completely exhausting themselves just for them to fend for their families. Some people don’t even have a choice because that’s the only choice left. Some struggle to haggle. Some are eaten by the system. Some try not to be. Some are lost. Some are nowhere to be found. Some are scared. Some are confused. Some are still searching for the answers to their questions. Some are contented. Some are furious. Some are defending their titles. Some are happy. Some seek guidance. Some are at peace. Some are fighting. Some are in a hurry. Some have targets. Some are giving up. Some already gave up. Some are continuously living their lives with a hope that they can formulate something better to improve their lives.
Sometimes you’ll find yourself wondering if your friends would still remember you despite the distance that separates you from them.
I can’t help but think about them at times when I have no one to talk to.
I admit it, I fucking miss my friends. I fucking miss the feeling of being free from all the obligations of the real world.
I miss the times where I would just worry about the freakin’ assignments or how to pass the fucking exam.
Now i have accounts to maintain, bills to pay, you have to be held responsible for all your actions.
Worst case scenario, you try to just shut your mouth even if you have something to say. You would always have to be careful that you might offend the others or they might misunderstood you as a boastful person.
So you hide all the words inside your heart and let other people just belittle you at times where you think stooping to their level is going to be a no-no.
You try to be careful not to offend other people with the words you are using because at times they would misunderstood you as someone who is a walking dictionary but the truth is, you still feel shitty about your vocabulary.
I don’t know why I’m swearing right now.
Please pardon my foul language because I just can’t f*ckin express how I feel right now.
Napagmasdan ko ang mga bata kanina habang naglalaro sila. Narealize ko halaaaaa nakakamiss pala ano. Masarap pala balikan yung mga oras na ang iniisip mo lang eh maangkin ang remote ng TV kasi baka may mamiss kang episode ng favorite cartoon show mo o kaya naman may kaagaw ka ng remote at parang ikakamatay mo na kapag hindi napasayo yung remote.
Kung dati noong bata ako, natatawa ako kapag sinasabi ng matatanda sa akin na ganun din yung cartoons na pinapanood nila.
Ngayong pinagmamasdan ko ang mga bata manood ng SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS. Natawa nalang ako ulit. Kasi kung ano yung sinabi sa akin ng mga matatanda noon, ganun din ang nasasabi ko sa kanila ngayon.
Nakakatuwa lang talaga panoorin na minsan sa buhay mo naging bata at na.enjoy mo rin ang ganitong buhay, ang masakit nga lang doon eh iALAALA nalang ang lahat ng ito na ikukwento at ipapasa mo sa mga bata ng bagong henerasyon.
I miss venting out my thoughts to you. Things haven’t been so easy lately. I miss talking to you. I miss the times where I would be telling you how fun life was, how crazy my friends are, and how I would always enjoy a new day when I wake up. I know I’ve been off lately and I can’t remember the last time I’ve written my thoughts here. Here I am trapped in the real world. Using the word trapped would make it so negative to other young people out there who are reading my blog, so allow me to change the word from trapped to LIVING.
Right now, I’m currently out, exposed to the real world. Have I told you lately that I feel so down? The word down even makes me feel depressed because it’s an understatement. I’ve been subjected to so much stress and sometimes I would just think that it’s going to be better if I just jump off the RCBC tower or GT tower, but that is not how I want my life to end. I know I have so much ahead of me, but these things just drain my the hell out of me.
The month of May hasn’t been easy, starting with the death of my uncle. There I realized how people would always act when it’s too late. People would reconcile and realize how much pain they had inflicted towards each other realizing that it was just a simple misunderstanding. I know this is how people were built. People are built with emotions that’s why, when people is in fire, they say things they never meant to say leaving each other wounded and scarred. The cycle goes on and on. History would always repeat itself to everyone.
I have always witnessed this cycle on both sides of family.
The point that I’m driving at is that, why do we even have to wait for the death of a loved one before we say that we love them or we forgive them? Why do people have so much pride anyway?
Right now, I would always worry about tomorrow. I always plan ahead of time to prevent shitty things from happening in my life.
I was about to go to church and here comes a man carrying his guitar sitting beside me. I asked him where he was headed, he told me he was going to his church and I said I’m about to go to my church too.
Then all of a sudden I found myself going to his church because he convinced me to try going.
And then there we were in a fairy tale movie-ish scene holding hands, being romantic, and crazily in love with each other. Awkwardly trying to get hold of the moments that are there. Taking advantage of the present moment..
It seems like what was important during that moment was me and him.
We were just happy and contented.
Then I woke up to a realization that everything was a dream.
Here at Boston Cafe. In MAINE, USA. LOL. I’m kidding. I’m just here at my hometown, LB.
It just feel at home wherein can relax and think about everything.
The barista is approachable and kind.
They know what I always order, Oreos Cookies and Cream without coffee because don’t drink anything with caffeine.
So anyway, here I am today trying to get my brain to work.
If only I knew who the owners were, I would really have like two or three suggestions to improve their coffee shop and to further attract more customers, or should I say students, young,and old professionals.
1. How I wish they have sweet stuff like cupcakes, cakes, cookies, and other things. Well, they only have chocolate chip cookies but it’s not enough. Since you’re only limited to the cookies they offer, people will prefer to go to Micha’s or somewhere where they can eat good sweet stuff.
2. Probably have a mini-library with interesting coffee table books, magazines, controversial files, and good read books that will attract bookworms like me. HAHA.
3. Aside from having all these good drinks that contains coffee, they should add Smoothies and other beverages that would not bore the customers who regularly visit the place.
4. Probably the barista should talk less and work more. Sometimes, I find them noisy but approachable.
5. The comfort room should be fixed. Make it more cozy and clean. Not that the customers would come just for the comfort room, but as they say: the comfort room of every restaurant says something about the cleanliness and sanitation of the food that they serve.
6. The lighting of the coffee shop should be fixed in such a way that it won’t be too dark or too bright when the customers looks at the choices on the wall.
Okay. I’m too ewan.Ang dami kong sinabi. Ang dami kong reklamo. Not that I’m an expert on this, but there would always be a room for improvement. :) Pucha, sabi ko 2 or 3 suggestions. Naka.anim ako. Putakte. Haha.
In moments like this, how I wish I could wake everyone up and beg them to stay with me until I fall asleep.I don’t know if you can call it insomnia, it just that I have so many things going on inside my head or probably I’m just using it as an excuse for bailing out on sleep.
“If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless.”—Looking for Alaska, John Green (via subtleproposition)
Emotions. Please stop this. I don’t like you giving me those mix signals all over again.
The last thing I need right now is to turn on my emotions.
One thing is crystal clear here, nothing is going on between us. It was just an illusion that has gone overboard, ready to jump off the cliff committing suicide. Yes, emotions do commit suicide. Sometimes it becomes suppressed, bottled up, and when it becomes saturated it explodes right there.
I don’t know if I have been stopping myself from feeling things. It’s liked I have this switch that I can turn off if I want to just so I can protect myself from falling off the cliff.
But you can’t always run from your emotions. You feel it inside of you. It rips you heart and shreds your soul into pieces.
You know what sucks the most is not being able to say what’s going on inside your head. It’s all trapped in your system consuming what sanity is left of you. It’s breaking you into pieces and the last thing you want to hear is being accused of being timid, heck being afraid of voicing out whatever bullshit it is you have in your head.
“You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone’s face, but there’s a third option - you can just let it go. And only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.”—Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother (via quote-book)
“Have you even been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get up inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness so a simple phrase like ‘Maybe we should just be friends’ or ‘How very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working it’s way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that. Especially not love. I hate love.”—Neil Gaiman (The Kindly Ones)
Hindi mo naman hawak ang puso niya. Lalo naman ang pag-iisip niya. Kung pwede nga ang i.CT SCAN or i.MRI ang nasa isip niya at kung pwede malaman through 2D Echocardiogram ang puso niya e baka matagal ko ng ginawa.
Oh di ba? Alam mo na kagad ang sagot sa mga tanong mo? Eh kaso hindi e. Walang magaganap na CT SCAN or MRI for the brain. At mas lalong walang magaganap na 2D Echocardiogram para masilayan ang nilalaman ng puso niya.
Best days are always unplanned, random, and exciting
Before this day ends, I would like to commend my friends and I for spending time with each other. It’s been so long since we last had this awesome moment together.
It was all random, unplanned, and exciting.
This is a day I would never forget. It’s one month away from my birthday and I’m so glad we were able to patch things up and smile randomly to the crazy thoughts and ideas we are having while enjoying what we were doing.
It’s nice to know despite the distance, we never lose that connection. Some people would lose it right away, but we didn’t. Even if we haven’t talked for months because of our busy schedule, we still managed to be together like the old days. We would always look back to the crazy things we did way back when we were kids up until now.
I love this day.
P.S. Tomorrow, I’ll go back to the city. I’m feeling tired, but awesomely recharged because of my friends. Yay.
Mapost ko in Hiligaynon kay nahidlaw na gid ko maghambal sang amu ni. Well, ari ko sa Iloilo subong kag kadamu gid sang naglain diri sa nagligad nga apat ka bulan nga nadula ko. Kalain na gid ya bi sang feeling after mo mag.graduate. Naglain na guro panulukan ko kay lain naman mga tawo nga ari di. Gamay nalang ang kilala mo kag imo mga friends, waay di. Ara sa mga layo nga lugar.